Got 99 problems, and a Vamp' is just one of em
by BadassCatNinjaXion
Summary: patriotic Canadian Rosalie Alexandria is less than thrilled when she moves to Nevada to accommodate her fathers new job. The little suburb plopped randomly in the desert feels like purgatory, and the heat doesn't help either. As a snarky seventeen year old girl just hitting her stride in such a tiny place how can she retain her sanity? And let's not forget the vampire next door..
1. Chapter 1

**-Hello! BadassCatNinjaXion here but that's a mouthful so call me Badass Cat, k? :3 **

**XD I'm being random again. And probably getting on people's nerves, but Y'KNOW WHAT?! I DON'T GIVE A —-(CAKE)- . Fanfiction is about fun, right? Write about stuff you like here! And I'm experimenting. So I apologize to those people reading my other stuff and going:XIIIIIIONNNNN, WHY THE -(CAKE)- U NO UPDAAAATE?! Its because I'm not feeling that spark :P sorry. But the spark shall come again, I swear it! This concludes my absurdly long author note thing. **

**Now please don't hurt or judge me, but I watched Fright Night-the 2011 one not the original, and basically fell in love with it. And then the itch came. Don't judge me. XD**

**The story itch has compelled me to write another Fan fic rated M. Content includes: disturbing things, blood, swearing, and graphic sex in later chapters.**

**(yes, I write lemons :3 **

**Ok! Read on! ...I mean, you know, if you want to... XD**

Disclaimer: Whoever owns Fright Night, owns it. I only own my OC, and a pirated version of the movie.

It was about 98.5 degrees that day.

And that was _indoors_.

_Ugh_.

We had just moved from our cozy cabin in CrowsNest Pass, Alberta, Canada, to here, Nowhere, Nevada, the great U-S-of freaking-A.

Great, just _flipping great._

I was not used to this kind of weather. I _liked_ Canada.

I was used to cold, moderatly cold, freezing, and have-your-boobs-fall-off-chilly. I liked that.

I was not used to hot, hotter, boiling, and sunstroke.

I wanted to go _home_...

With a noise akin to a growl I stomped downstairs to the fridge, which was, (finally) unpacked. It had only taken four _hours_.

My father and stepmother had packed me, my brother Apollo, and our twin cats, Roo and Punkin' up a week ago and shipped us out here, to just outside of Las Vegas, where my dad's new job was as a construction worker. We had just arrived yesterday and scrambled to get our things in order. Everthing but the beds, the kitchen, and the tv was still boxed up. So much for proactivness.

We lived in a big square block of suburb houses. Just out in the desert, randomly placed, bam! Lets build us a SUBURB!

Hell, I wouldn't have known that you could _live_ in the desert, let alone that anyone _wanted_ to.

I was the biggest ball of teenage sulk you could find within three klicks, guaranteed.

"Ro-ose! Come outside and be social!" My father called from outside.

Mmmm no. My father was super excited about this, and he expected everyone else to be also.

I opened the fridge, basking in its chill glory for a moment, almost forgetting I lived in the desert...

"Rosalie Alexandria! You come outside this instant! And don't let me catch you leaving that fridge door open again!" Daydream shattered.

All those that hate parentals, say LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!

I slammed the fridge shut. I'd leave it open a crack later. We may not be 'cooling the neighbourhood,' but we sure as _hell_ will be cooling this house.

With another growl under my breath, I stalked outside. My big brother Apollo was already there, socializing with a woman and what appeared to be her teenage son. If I could describe my family in the shortest way possible, I'd use two words.

Kiss. _Ass_.

My dad grabbed me in a huge bear hug and grinned at the lady.

"Ah! There's my babydoll! Rosalie, this is Jane, our neighbour, and her son Charley!"

My father would win the sappiest smile award, hands freaking down.

He squeezed my side rather hard. I took the cue.

"I'm Rosa. Nice to meet you. Is it always so hot here?" I addressed my question to the boy. Maybe we could relate, maybe not.

Charley, the son, just did what all boys did when seeing me for the first time.

Charley _stared_.

I just smiled back politely. Nope. No relating here.

I guess that means I should maybe explain why teen boys think that their girlfriends or anyone else don't exist when I'm around.

I'm 5/7, have long blue black hair due to my cree heritage, and amber/hazel eyes due to my mother.

That's what I know.

But in the words of my good friend Marcus, "you look like Megan _fucking_ Fox to us guys."

So I let the boy stare for a bit before it got annoying. "I'm headed back in, dad. It'll be getting dark soon."

I turned around and walked away.

And that was my big social meet and greet.

Because while I have the looks of a bubbly, cheery, self centred airhead that will get all the money and the good jobs and whatnot, I definitely do not have the personality.

I'm a loner. Always have been.

Other loners seek me out sometimes, but we don't hang, or 'chill,' or whatever.

Heaven forbid, sometimes I have to run them off, because they won't leave me alone ...with a baseball bat. (I keep one in my closet just in case)

I'm a goody two shoes, no drinking, no drugs, no records except for skipping a class or two. Hell, I'm still a _virgin_! You didn't need to know that.

Anyway, I went back inside, hooked up my Xbox, and played Assassin's Creed until the sun went down and the air cooled off.

It felt _awesome_, and then and there I decided to make that a ritual of mine. Deal with the heat as best I could, and then chill at dusk on my green lawn all alone.

That's another thing.

Its the _desert_, how are the lawns _green_?

Strange people Americans, I mused to myself, Genetically engineer evergreen lawns when they can solve world hunger...

But that's just my theory.

Can you tell I'm bitter?

I was sitting on my suspiciously green lawn that first night in meditative position, eyes closed, just taking the cool in when I got prickles all down my arms.

You know that saying? Someone walked on your grave? Well, someone must have been doing the fricking can-can on my patch of sod because the amount of shivers I got was astronomical.

I opened my eyes, to see a man staring at me from the left side of the lawn. He held a shovel and looked shocked to see me. I was shocked to see him too.

_Well, that explains the creepy feeling._

His expression shifted to confused as he spied me dali-lama-ing on the lawn, then his face kind of crooked into a smile and he took a single step towards me. I narrowed my eyes and he backed down, instead leaning on the shovel in his hands. He scanned me, then spoke. "Ah, thats right, you must have just moved in today. The new family. I'm Jerry Dandridge. I live right next to you. But then again, all the houses are connected so everybody Lives next to you."

He smiled warmly and waited for my name in return. I said nothing.

Like I was going to tell a complete stranger my name, never mind that he lived 'right next to me.' Why he needed to articulate that, was beyond me. It made him seem suspicious. And the way he just kept looking at me... C-R-E-E-P-Y.

I just raised an eyebrow in the classic teenage 'mmhmm that's nice, why are you telling me?' pose and waited for him to get bored and leave.

All adults did, muttering about respect for elders and irrelevant stuff like that.

But this guy just waited for me to answer, relaxing against that shovel and looking like he had all the time in the world.

I crossed my arms and sighed. "Nice to meet you Jerry, I'm Rosa."

His face lit up like a young kid's on Christmas morning. Sheesh. No need to act too friendless there, _Jerry_.

Jerry leaned forwards a little. "I see you still have quite a lot of moving left to do... _Rosa_."

I just raised an eyebrow.

"Perhaps I could help you and your family move in? It would be neighbourly... Heh. And it would give me some exercise." He chuckled, obviously thinking something was funny.

I didn't.

I was beginning to think this was one of those loners I would have to chase away... With my baseball bat.

He tilted his head a little and for some strange reason I suddenly felt like my thoughts weren't my own. For good measure, I thought "_butt the fuck out."_

There was no measurable response, so my thoughts must have been safe for another day.

That crooked smirk was back, as he leaned on that shovel and waited for me to respond. I found myself eying the shovel warily.

"So what do you say? Huh?" Jerry's smooth voice broke into my thoughts. "Can I help you?"

I stood–scratched my arm, stretched, looked up at the sky dreamily– anything that didn't clue the freak next door into the I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE vibe I was most definitely giving off.

"I don't know... Ask my father, he's the man of the house."

And without another word, I turned and walked away, even though I felt very vulnerable exposing my back to him for some reason.

_He's got a shovel. What would he use that for—burying something?_ I froze, halfway up the stairs. _Or someone... _Shivers sped up my spine at that and I banished the thought.

_That's it, Rosa_, I told myself sternly when I was safely in my room and able to spy on the man practically gliding back into his own house, shovel over one shoulder;

_No more CreepyPastas before bed._


	2. Chapter 2

**Omigosh! Thank you for the Reviews! They literally are this story's food and drink :DI have never had so many so fast. Usually have to coax people to comment and stuff XD Well, enough random babbling. Story time!**

The next morning was a Monday, the most hated day of the week for most of the world, and incidentally, my first day of high school in the great state of Nevada, USA.

"YEEHAW! Rise and shine, babycakes!"

My father got me up extra early.

I wasn't pleased.

_No, no, no, no._

_No, I will not wear that._

_No, I am not going to school._

_No, I will not!_

Why? My parentals asked, whining and pleading with me, making a nuisance of themselves and generally being annoying.

_Because I'll look stupid._

_Because I'm starting in the middle of the semester._

_Because I don't want to be here!_

As per usual, however, I found myself forced into an outfit that 'didn't show cleavage, legs, or other temptations,'

(_Please)_

I find myself wandering the halls amidst fellow zombies without a single clue as to where they're at–(_as if half of them aren't doing drugs anyway)_

and I'm grounded on top of all of that for having an _attitude_.

(_Well fuck you, too, StepTyrant.)_

Fine. I'll just keep hating this place. StepTyrant will just keep on trucking in the consequences.

Its a vicious cycle, I know, but hey, thats life, right?

By lunch time I was actually considering whether it would be physically possible to commit suicide with a stapler.

I lined up with all the other students, received my slop on a tray—with love? yuck!) and went to sit by myself.

I had just managed to get past my gag reflex after a couple of experimental swallows when an annoyance appeared to my right.

"Hey, Rosalie!"

I glanced up to see my neighbour, Charley, with a smile on his face.

He was talkative today.

"Hey."

The insufferable boy slid his own tray across the table and slipped in across from me without asking. Not like I _cared_, but still...

"So, Rosalie, how's your first day of school? This is your first day, right?"

I took a moment to answer.

"Its good. The food could be better though."

He laughed, then motioned to another boy, who stood almost in the shadows.

"Oh, sorry, this is Ed, we've known each other for years. Ed, this is Rosa, my new neighbour."

Ed performed the custom of staring for a moment before sticking out his hand and stammering, "Hi, I'm Ed, wow you're stunning."

I smiled at him, and shook his hand. "You're sweet." Cute kid.

He blushed, and that's when the Wild Jock appeared with an entourage of douche bags, pushed him to the ground, and mocked him with a high pitched giggle.

"You're _stunning_," The ass parroted in a singsong voice. "You're such a nerd."

I scowled and stood. Ok, bullies _piss me off._

"Leave him alone."

The Jock turned to give me short shrift and then his jaw dropped. He fumbled for words for a moment, before closing his mouth and wiping his drool. "You're hot."

"And you disgust me."

On impulse I dumped my platter of slop onto his head and walked off, trailed by a surprised Charley and a shocked Ed.

"Thanks," he mumbled, his face red.

I smirked. "Don't sweat it." I sighed. "Well, this day has been a bust. I'm heading home. See ya, Charley, Ed."

Charley grinned. "Yeah, bye."

Ed blinked. "Whoa. She's..."

Charley shook his head and clapped his arm around the other boy.

"She's _waaay_ outta your league. I can't wait to introduce Amy to her."

"That'll go over well, won't it?"

I was busy fighting Templars all afternoon. At least, until my doorbell rang. I opened the front door to see a grinning Charley with his arm around a partially familiar blond girl who looked bored. I think I had math class with her.

"Hey, Rosalie! Sorry to bother you."

I shrugged and put on a smile—my hostess mask.

"No bother at all."

"This is Amy, my girlfriend. She lives beside me also, just a ways down the street. So really we're all friendly neighbours."

I nodded distractedly, remembering that my 'other' neighbour had said as much and introduced myself.

I had the strangest feeling we, no... I was being watched...

"May we come in?" Amy prompted, noting my dazed expression.

I blinked, snapped out of my daze. "Um, yeah, sure, why not.. Want a drink?"

I opened the door wider and let the two of them inside. Charley grinned. "Do you have beer?"

"Of course! Enter, enter, watch yourself however. Its a bit of a mess..." I didn't miss Amy's whisper to Charley as they stepped through my doorway, and followed me, however. It amused me.

"_She's on drugs."_

Charley whistled at the sight of all the stacked boxes, ignoring his gf's negative vibes. "Wow. You weren't kidding! You _do_ need some help."

I shrugged and slipped deftly in between two teetering stacks. "Yeah, I know. Apollo and I really don't want to start unpacking. Procrastination and all that... That Jerry guy, he offered to help us unpack. I'm still not sure whether or not I should take him up on it... Dad would love the extra muscle... And me and Apollo wouldn't have to lift a finger."

I reappeared from the kitchen with two beers and handed them over.

"They're my father's secret stash."

Charley took his beer and just looked at me in silence for a moment.

Then, out of nowhere; "Don't invite Jerry into your house."

I blinked. "Why?"

Charley looked over at Amy, but she ignored him.

"He...he's a bit of an oddball."

"_Please_, I could tell you that. I was chilling on my lawn last night and I opened my eyes and he was just _staring_ at me..."

Charley stiffened. "Ed thinks he's a..." He began, then sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. Just, please, don't let him on your property."

I thought about it. "Alright." It seemed reasonable. The guy gave off 'I'M A CRAZY FREAK' vibes, and really, how hard could it be?

The two of them and I chit chatted a bit more, but as the afternoon wore down and the sky lit up with a glorious sunset, they said their goodbyes and left. I relocated myself to my favourite spot on the grass to bathe in the cool night air.

Ahh, bliss.

"Nice night, huh?"

I opened my eyes. Jerry was again standing by the divide of rocks that separated houses and lawns,his strangely penetrating eyes fixed on me. He was missing his serial-killer shovel, which was good.

I nodded, slowly.

"Its cool and wet. A perfect way to escape the heat, wouldn't you say?"

Again, a nod. What the _heck_ did he want?

"Could I join you?"

_What_?

He stood there, patiently waiting. I again heard Charley's voice in my head.

_Don't let him on your property..._

And truth be told, I didn't want him on my property. Everything about this guy screamed _freak_.

There was nothing else for it. Go for it, Rosa.

"No."

Something passed across his face, a twitch, or a shadow, or something, but he didn't look happy for a splith of a millisecond.

My distrust and mild shock must have shown when that happened, because his face softened into an attractive smile. He really was good looking.

"I get it, new neighbours and all. Perhaps we could get to know each other a little bit more, maybe? Go for coffee, sometime?"

I raised an eyebrow, and found my voice as I stood. "Dude, I'm seventeen. You're God knows _how_ old. The answer is _no_."

And again I turned away, walked away, a tiny little voice in my head wondering if my 20something neighbour had just tried to pick me up...

Friday found me by my locker, struggling to open it as some asshole seemed to have glued it shut or something. My bet was on the Wild Jock.

"Rosalie, can I talk to you?"

I looked up as someone approached. "Oh, hey, Ed. Where's Charley?"

To my surprise, Ed just scowls, nodding over to the corner where the Wild Jocks hung out, surrounded by a cloud of smoke.

"Brewster's too cool for us now. But that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about."

He looked really agitated. I leaned against my locker door, getting ready to turn down the poor kid's amorous heart or whatever else he wanted from me. I didn't do people's homework.

"Okay."

"I wanted to warn you."

_Okaay_. Not what I expected at all. But now he had me intrigued.

"_Warn_ me? About _what_?"

"Jerry, ok? The guy living next to you? Don't let him near you, or your family. Don't invite him into your house, or you're as good as dead. _Promise_ me! I gotta go."

Ed turned around and speed-walked off. I blinked as he vanished in the growing throng of students, then as the bell rang for class and my locker still refused to yield, I kicked it hard. It sprang open with a squeal of hinges and I retrieved my books with triumph.

_Don't invite Jerry over or you're as good as dead. _Huh. The guy was creepy, sure, but...

Ah, well, who was I to question the mysterious ways of the nerds? I grinned to myself as I pictured Ed dressed like yoda.

'_Invite him in, you must not..'_

This little square of houses was getting odder and odder. Almost lazily, I pulled out a pen and wrote on the magnetic notepad in my locker:

My To Do list: _Make crazy friends; _Check_._


	3. Chapter 3

**Third part is up :3 Thanks to those who reviewed, I'm so grateful :D **

For the rest of that day, I stuck pretty much to myself, even forgoing the loud, busy cafeteria at lunch for a quieter hang out; and besides, I wasn't that hungry anyway. I skipped the rest of the day. I wasn't feeling the unity of geometric shapes in math..

Or the atom's pull in science, either, for that matter.

No one missed me, which was good, but I think the school still called home. Not that it mattered.

I came home with good grades.

That was really all my StepTyrant and her consort, aka my Father; cared about.

Get good grades and stay out of fights.

Apollo had long since joined the Jock/Cool guy clique, and I had long since began pretending he was invisible, even though he began to make it a habit of knocking me into the lockers when he strutted past everyone else.

_Jerk_.

My home life wasn't _too_ dramatic. Note the sarcasm.

Dad worked super late, doing whatever it was he did in Las Vegas, as a construction grunt, and the StepTyrant was too pampered to lift a finger at home, leaving everything shy of cooking to us. We were teenagers, so you can imagine how well that worked. _Nada, zip, zero._

The day finally came where we were all supposed to begin unpacking boxes and setting up our new home, but as usual it became a life and death struggle. Apollo and I didn't do a single thing; StepTyrant expected us to do _her_ work, screeching high enough it put a _ringwraith_ to shame.

the cycle was thus:

StepTyrant raised her voice and screeched at us. We just put our respective headphones in; I to my Xbox, Apollo to his IPod, and cranked the volume.

She stomped around and threw a hissy fit, practically screamed herself blue in the face.

We ignored her.

She spat like an angered cobra and threatened to call our father.

Ha ha, like _that_ would ever work...

No reaction from me.

No reaction from Apollo.

And not a single fuck was given from either of us that day. The sun went down, and Donna was still yelling. I was deep in an Assassination memory. I didn't even _hear_ her anymore.

Finally, she snatched her cigarettes from the counter and swept from the room like she always did, tired of the drama. She stormed outside, to puff the whole pack and calm down.

Unfortunately, with a chain smoker like her, that didn't take too long and she'd be back, her absurdly priced high heels clicking on the wooden flooring.

The difference was, this time, she practically _waltzed_ back into the living room. I frowned. _What the hell?_

"Oh you'd _never_ guess who I just ran into!" She gushed, doing an honest to god twirl.

Apollo and shared a look over our devices.

_Oh great. Not another one..._

Men were constantly trying to get lucky with Donna. I hated her guts, but for the sake of my dad, this prospective adulterer needed to be dealt with now.

I slipped a 'teenage GTFO' glare onto my face and applied it liberally to the visitor, who smiled, his dark brown eyes penetrating straight through my animosity As he appeared at the doorway. He grinned crookedly, then followed my stepmother into the kitchen, where she was humming something cheerful.

I did a double take, setting my controller down.

Was _that_...?

Oh _hell_ no!

Jerry Dandrige was in my house.

I got up from the couch and followed him into the kitchen. I didn't trust our creepily attractive neighbour. I didn't trust my step mother as a rule of thumb anyway.

Leaving the two of them alone was a _terrible_ idea.

The StepTyrant flitted around like a hummingbird, coyly smiling at our guest and blushing like a schoolgirl. It was the most pathetic flirt attempt I had ever seen, and Jerry Dandrige seemed to be of the same mind, because he kept that amused smile on his face the entire time.

I glared at the back of his head as they chitchatted, made small talk. finally, they both seemed to notice me. Jerry gave another diamond smile as he looked me over. "Rosalie's spoken a lot about you," He almost purred. I frowned, but the ass cut me off, focussing that dark brown stare on her. "She says you're a good cook."

Donna, _melted_ beneath that gaze. "Oh, well.. Hee hee.. Yes, I suppose I am.."

I left them to whatever the hell they were doing and flopped back onto the couch. I snatched up my controller and dove back into my game.

I narrowed my eyes, tensing up a little as on the screen, Altaïr jumped bridges, leaped over guards and assassinated my target. I allowed myself an indulged smile. It was perfect...

"Whatcha playing?"

"AHH HOLYFUCK!" I fell off the couch, flailing as my heart rate spiked. I fell off, and it was embarrassing, since the only time I swore was when I was scared or really angry, and that was one of those times.

Jerry Dandrige leaned against the back of my couch, watching the T.V screen avidly, showing no knowledge of the heart attack he had almost given me. "I've seen that game before," he frowned, thinking, "Assassin..."

I took a deep breath before returning to the couch, leaning as far away from my new observer as possible. "Assassin's Creed."

He snapped his fingers and straightened, making me jump a second time. "That's the one! Wish I could jump like that."

I nodded almost like I cared, and went back to my game. This guy was getting on my nerves... He smirked, and leaned over my shoulder as I returned to my assassination.

I turned very, very slowly and glared Him down. "Excuse me, do you _need_ something?"

Apollo swore in the background as a box landed on his foot. Jerry's eyes glinted as he responded innocently. "Just watching."

"Can you give me some space? Please? And aren't you supposed to be helping us set up our stuff?"

He moved a bit to the side, but kept talking. "I'll get to work later, don't worry. So, where's your dad?"

I rolled my eyes while my unwelcome visitor lounged against the back of my couch like he owned it, and frowned.

I was an inch away from punching his stupid smirk...

"Working. He'll be home soon."

"Ah."

I returned my gaze to the cutscene now playing, resisting the urge to tell him to go away.

"Your stepmother is very nice."

"Oh?" That inch was shrinking...

"She invited me over for dinner. That alright with you?"

_WHAT_?

I paused my game and stood, placing one hand on my hip in what my father liked to call the 'oh no you didn't,' pose. That was crossing the line, Donna.

"Why are you asking _me_?"

Seriously? _Dinner_? StepTyrant, you cheating-

Jerry just crossed his arms as he stood. "Because you seem the only one in this family who would have a problem if you weren't told beforehand."

He had a point there, and I disliked him even more for that.

I frowned even more, and crossed my arms also. "Yeah, you can have dinner with us."

He flashed that dazzling smile again, the same one he had given me the first night.

"You're too kind."

You're too weird.

I shut down my Xbox and left him there without another word. I was done socializing. I fled to the safety of my room and slammed the door shut, making sure people knew I was in a crappy mood.

"Aaarghhhh! I wish we never _moved_ here, Roo!" I raged, kicking my teddybear clear across my room.

My calico cat just purred. I flopped facedown onto my pillow, then flipped onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

No way was I going back down there. No flipping way.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax my tense muscles.

And almost like a wall of nothing descending onto my face, sleep hit me.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm kind of apprehensive about this chapter... one, it isn't so well thought out, so there's a couple holes, and two, I have to envision an evil, hungry vampire in it. I've never been a Twihard, but now, writing this scene, makes me wish I'd payed more attention to the movies...XD Also, people seem to like how I've made Rosalie, and over the next bit, she's going to be undergoing a massive character change.. And then you'll see why this is Rated M. But I'm getting ahead of myself :) here, read and review please, as usual XD**

**-—–**

The screaming woke me.

I sat bolt upright in my room, unsure of where I was, what was going on... My room was very dark. I fumbled for my light, but another bloodcurdling scream split the air, made me jump, and made me reconsider.

_StepTyrant?_

I jumped out of bed, just as the scream cut off. Something wasn't right here...

And why the _hell_ were all the lights off?

I could smell chicken, which was for supper. Maybe StepTyrant saw a mouse?

It still didn't explain the lights...

Nevertheless, I crept downstairs as quietly as I could, my gut twisting with anxiety.

The entire house was dark. I left it that way even though it meant I had to rely on my night vision- which really was nil.

I walked barefoot to the kitchen/dining-room, still creeping, feeling terror slowly settle in my chest. There was nothing but silence.

That was definitely not right. StepTyrant was _never_ silent.

I resisted the urge to call out, remembering all the horror movies I had ever seen.

Instead, I felt for the light switch, then, taking a steadying breath, I flipped the light switch on.

_Oh...my..God..._

I backed up, hands covering my mouth. My cry was soundless, for which I was thankful.

Apollo and Dad sat at the table. plates of food in front of them.

But they were.. They were.. Dead.

_Dead_.

They were seated, but there were huge pools of blood on the table, coming from their throats, chests, smeared handprints, in their plates of still steaming food... my stomach flipflopped as I realized that the gravy drizzled on the chicken was blood.

I stepped back, my eyes locked with the blank gaze of my father, and the massive hole in his neck. It looked like someone had pressed his throat into a meat grinder. I stepped backwards and stepped in something wet. More blood. but when I looked down and saw a furry orange heap discarded on the floor, I couldn't help all the fear and terror and anguish that spilled out into my choked sob.

"Punkin'!"

"Oh, _there_ you are, Rosalie."

I whirled around, my heart in my throat, snatching a steak knife off the table in the same motion, but nearly dropping it with shock when I beheld what was before me.

Our 'guest,' Jerry Dandrige, had my stepmother in what could only be an intimate embrace, except he was keeping her quiet with one hand clapped over her mouth. Donna's eyes wheeled in terror, finally locking onto me. She stretched out a trembling arm to me, the skin of that arm looking... Unnatural. Jerry clucked with disapproval and dragged her back into a more submissive position.

She shivered and closed her eyes as he tilted her head back before turning and flashing me another dazzling grin. The effect was somewhat marred by the blood smeared all over his lips and chin. Tears leaked from beneath Donna's sparkly eyelids and trickled down her rouged cheeks as Jerry's chuckle filled the room.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save you any dinner, Rosa," he purred, sounding genuinely regretful, before licking up StepTyrant's neck sensually. She let out a muffled whimper. I felt like I was watching something porn related. Dirty. I couldn't really process what I was seeing. It felt like I was watching a movie, or viewing it in a dream. Donna raised her arm to me again, and I looked at it like it was an alien from outer space. Which, if this really was a dream, it very well could be.

"But there's still plenty of dessert..." The porn took a sharp left into horror and the dream became a nightmare as my _neighbour_, a _normal_ person, opened his mouth impossibly wide and then bit into my stepmother's throat.

With fangs.

I shrieked and fled, not looking back, running out into the night as a single piercing scream stabbed my ears before being silenced. I fled that horror house, with only one thought in my mind.

_They were right._

and then:

_Holy shit, I live next to a _vampire_._

I ran until my lungs burned, then I hid behind a big tree in front of a child's playground while I gathered my thoughts.

God, what were the _odds? _And what was I supposed to _do_ now? Where was I supposed to _go_?!

What had Charley said? 'They all lived close by.'

But... I couldn't endanger his _family_...

But... What about _me_?!

A low whistle suddenly broke the silence close by and I froze.

Oh no.

"Ro-saaaa, come out, come out, wherever you are..." I could hear him walking, taking steady, easy strides. He was in no hurry.

My heart hammered faster in my chest and I gripped the steak knife tighter in my fist. I had managed, by way of a miracle, to hold onto it... Not that I figured it was any use against a vampire.

The footsteps faded, and then stopped entirely. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Boo."

Jerry's grinning face appeared around the side of the tree, his black eyes glinting like polished rock. I let out another curse and threw myself backwards just as a long, claw tipped hand shot out and carved grooves in the wood where I had stood seconds earlier. I fumbled but managed to point my steak knife at ...it, as it sauntered around the tree towards me, carving a line in it with a claw as it came.

Get up.. _Get up! _

I scrambled to my feet, knife at the ready. Jerry the Vampire paused his approach when he saw my weapon, but then the smile on his face grew bigger, and he chuckled. "You have teeth, Rosalie, impressive."

"Stay away from me," I warned, terror constricting my threat into a whisper. "Or I'll stab you.."

Jerry laughed, then continued his slow, leisurely stalk towards me. He examined his nails. "You don't know much about vampires, do you, Rosalie?"

I raised my knife and took a step back. "Get the fuck away!" I hissed again.

Jerry sighed. He smiled patiently at me, like I was a small child with a mental handicap. "We can only be killed by a singular powerful thrust to the heart, delivered with a wooden stake. A stake, Rosalie. A long sharp stick, made of wood." The smile dropped off his face, replaced by a twitching, hungry snarl. "And it looks like you don't have one."

He jumped me before I could raise the knife to stab him, pinning me down and literally kneeling on my chest. I stared up into the cold depths of his eyes as he smirked down at me. He slid his hand beneath my head and dragged it off of the ground. "Thank you for inviting me to dinner. It was ... _Delicious_." Jerry licked his lips. "But dessert seemed a little hastily introduced, if you catch my drift.. I'm so glad that now I can enjoy it as long as I want..."

I hissed in a painful breath. "...Fuck..er!" My windpipe was collapsed in this position, so I couldn't say what else was in my head, but impulsive to the core, I sure as hell acted upon it...

I punched him in the face with my left hand. Pulled back and cracked him across his jaw. He snarled as he tumbled off my chest, his head snapping to one side. I didn't stop to look at the damage I'd done, I just ran, wheezing. My hand felt like I had punched a brick wall, but damn, that had felt good for my morale.

Logic stated I should have gone somewhere populated, brightly lit, etc, etc. But in a town this tiny, where would the nightlife be?

Oh right. _Vegas_. I hate this place...

I heard a furious hiss from behind me, and then I was thrown to the ground. I tasted blood, must have bitten my tongue. I again scrambled to my feet, knife at the ready, but Jerry was standing right in front of me, and he had that: 'I'm through taking this kind of shit from you' expression on his face as he raised his clawed hand and flicked the knife clean out of my grip and into the dark. I heard it clatter against the slide on the playground, four hundred yards away.

Oh. Shit.

Jerry smirked, as I backed away on numb legs. Was my life going to end, just like that? Was I really so meaningless to God that he was going to let me end up as my neighbour's _snack?_

I wasn't ready to accept that. So, screwing logic for all it was worth, I raised my fists.

Jerry raised an eyebrow, but I spat at him. "Fuck you! If... If I'm going to die, at least I'll die fighting!"

It actually _was_ kind of pathetic, when you think about it.

Jerry laughed openly at me. "Fight? _How_? With _what_? Rosalie, at the risk of sounding cliche... You're going to have to accept that this is-"

"–My fate? This isn't my _fate_! It never would have _happened_ if my idiot of a stepmother hadn't let you _in_!"

His grin was both triumphant and mocking. "_You_ let me _stay_."

Red rage filled my field of vision, and I attacked, pummelling him with everything I had, fists, feet, words. I was beyond logic, reason, even common sense. There was a chuckle, and suddenly I was flying again.

my back slammed against the metal slide, my head bounced off the edge. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through the pain in my chest. It felt like the bastard had crushed my ribs together.

He probably had.

My left hand's wandering fingers brushed over the handle of something, and I laughed, despite the situation.

I had found the knife.

Jerry the Vampire strolled onto the playground, whistling 'how much is that doggy in the window?' somewhat randomly before crouching beside me and watching me attempt to regain my freaking five senses. That punch had literally knocked me silly, and the resulting crash and impact hadn't helped.

He slipped a cool finger under my lolling chin and lifted it to his eye level. "I assume you are familiar with the chess term, 'Check mate," he purred, stroking my dark hair once before yanking it and wrenching my head back, exposing my throat. I winced. "Ow."

He leaned down, about to bite, his breath washing my skin. "Check mate, Rosalie."

And that was when I drove the steak knife into his neck.

Jerry screeched.

That's the only way I can describe that sound. Like a freaking defective train whistle. He forcefully pushed away from me and shrieked. It was a terrible grating, hissing noise, and as I stumbled to my feet and limped away, feeling shards of agony spike through my chest, it morphed into a roar that shook the entire park.

I picked up my pace as I ducked down into someone's backyard. It was now a game of Cat and Mouse, and I really, really couldn't lose.

I was tempted to break and enter one of the suburban dream homes I raced by, but what if I got kicked out, shot at, etc?

Jerry'd probably just wait for me to walk right into his arms.

I was probably doing that _right now..._

I froze, listening.

Nothing. I moved on. Hop the fence, race across the lawn, repeat. The spikes drilled into my flesh, became a burn of agony, constant. I finished the block. Maybe I should try out for olympic hurdles. I raced for the next one.

"That was a mean trick."

Ah shit. Shit, shit, shit...

I whirled, aware that my knife was gone for good now. Jerry stood only a few feet away, one hand clapped to the side of his neck, where black liquid still oozed, the other balled into a fist. His liquid black eyes were fixed on me. I swear something was wrong with his jaw, since it was twitching madly, like there were things alive beneath his skin. Black veins pulsed along his throat. He looked wrong.

I raised my eyebrows and kept backing up. "Oh yeah? So's killing your neighbours."

I bumped into something, looked behind me. It was a for-sale sign.

What the hell, if I was going to die anyway...

I heaved and after a few good yanks, tore the thing out of the ground. Armed with my new weapon, I advanced the vamp.

Jerry hissed at me, then opened his mouth wide–almost unhinged wide. Like a snake.

Ookay, that was just.. wrong.

He cracked his jaw and growled, taking a step forwards, hands out, sharp claws extended, set to rip the sign from my hands. "You don't even know what to do with that, do you?"

I growled right back, brandishing my sign.

"Fuck off! I mean it!"

Jerry lunged forwards, and I thrust the pointy end of the sign at him. He snarled and batted it aside, his claws snagging the hem of my tee-shirt. "Shit!" I scrambled backwards, falling backwards onto the green grass of a lawn. I closed my eyes and curled up, prepared to meet my demise, when I heard Jerry curse.

Hmm? I wasn't dead?

I opened my eyes. Vamp Dandrige was still glaring at me, but he wasn't making any move to come get me. I blinked in surprise, then stood. I turned towards the house who's property I was currently encroaching on and spotted the mailbox. And the heaven sent gift written on it in black sharpie.

'Brewsters.' This was my block.

"Charley," I sighed, half in hysteria, half relief. I let my knees collapse, and I was reaching for my for-sale sign, when I saw that his foot was standing on it. I let the sign be, when I saw how close his foot was to my hand.

I looked up, realizing how close I had come to death. A blade of grass off the lawn, one tiny piece of fabric, a finger, and he would have dragged me out and eaten me. A pleasant thought, I know.

He growled, his black eyes flashing, fully human looking again except for his eyes. They were black and flat looking and _hungry_. He paced along the invisible barrier, his penetrating gaze fixed on me.

"Lucky break, Rosalie. You're parents would be so _proud_. You outsmarted the monster. But the thing about monsters, the thing about me?" He sniffed the air, looked around once, then smiled, revealing his sharp vampire fangs.

I'm very, _very_ patient, Rosa. And the moment you slip up, Rosa, you are _mine_."

I shivered with fear at his words but hid it behind a cynical teen facade.

"Go chew on a brick, Edward," I snapped, suddenly exhausted. What _time_ was it?

"The drama club wants their glitter back."

And even though I knew that antagonizing the thing that killed my family and had just promised to kill me was not a good idea, the expression of intense rage and fury that crossed his face made the pain if not worthwhile, at least bearable. I felt like I was attempting to avenge my family. Sort of.

"I _will_ return for you. You will be mine, one way... Or another."

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, _Jerry_. I'm not moving from this spot. And that's insanely creepy, by the way. Also, your face is a mess, didn't your mother teach you basic hygiene? Go clean yourself up, you _slob_."

I taunted and bitched and generally put down the monster until with another snarl Jerry Dandrige melted back into the shadows and I curled up on the lawn and fell into an exhausted sleep.

-—-

**ok. Yeah. Reviews make the world go round :3**


	5. Update Notice

Hai everyone :3

**THIS IS IN All STORIES. ITS A LETTER OF SORTS AND PERTAINS TO ALL STORIES SO THATS WHY ITS HERE :P**

(That was the longest freaking title ever xP)

Ok!

I have some good news and some bad news..  
Good news, I'm back and stuff! *scattered applause from nowhere*  
Bad news, if some of you have stories I've reviewed on then you know, and for those who don't...  
MY IPOD WAS LOST IN THE WOODSTTnTT

Yes, blame Slenderman :/

_**slenderman appears* HEY!'_

So all my stories:  
OARW, DWS, 99problems (which is getting more and more popular :/) and Impending Madness,  
(I don't count CentralDaze or Dividend, no one reads them) the parts I had planned out, have to be...

*sigh*  
Rewritten -.-  
Yeah. It sucks ...  
I'm so sorry _  
XP I'mma make Slenderman PAY for dis ...  
DWS FANS.. ATTAAAACK!

**_slenderman *runs away*_

Lol jk jk...  
*sigh*  
But seriously, this is why there have been no updates..  
So yeah.. :/  
*poofs somewhat disheartendly*  
_-_  
_**Sterling Red appears** _  
_'what the-?! Oh riiight.'_

_*pulls out a set of cue cards and starts reading from them*_  
_'Please-'_  
_*Looks at cue card again*_  
_'Please PM BadassninjaXion if you have any issues or.. Concerns. Also if...'_  
_*rolls eyes.*. 'seriously? Whatever.. Lets see.. Oh, and also if you just want to talk. She's a lonely, talkative person. ' *tosses cards away and vanishes*. F this. I'm out.'_

:)  
(Please pm me for Ideas and stuff too.. And well yeah. -.- I need Muses TTwTT  
~Xion, BadassCatNinja :3


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! I'm back!**

**Well... I'm consciously putting an effort into these stories again ^_^**

**I trust ya'll have read up to this point, and if you haven't, sucks to be you :3**

**Aaanyway, I'm going to be SLOWLY working the knots in my stories out :P so pleaaase bear with me and I'M SORRY FOR THE FAKE UPDATE BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE TT-TT**

**Whoa, caps lock.**

**On with chapter...**

**What chapter are we on now?**

***checks***

**Ah yes, ON WITH CHAPTER 6!**

My sleep was filled with blood drenched monsters masquerading as normal people. They reached out to me, their eyes red, whispering...

"_Rosalie... _

_Rosalie._..

Rosalie!"

I woke, a curse on my lips, fists up, ready for whatever was going to attack–

"Charley?"

"Shit, Rosa, chill."

Charley stood above me,looking disheveled, shocked and confused, a rolled up newspaper in one fist.

"What are you doing on my lawn at 6:30 in the morning?"

A string of curses burbled from my throat and I stood shakily, smacking him across the face. Hard.

"When were you going to tell me I lived next door to a mother fucking vampire?!"

Charley's eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open as he raised a hand to his face. "You know?"

Do I know.

"Charley, you won't believe how much I know. When you asked me not to let that creep onto our property, I agreed. Jerry Dandrige is a weirdo. No doubt about that. But then at school, Ed told me that if I let him in– 'Invited him,' was the words he used, I believe–me and my whole family would die. I guess thats normal Ed behaviour because I didn't think anything of it. So we're all at home, not doing anything and StepTyrand goes out for a smoke. She comes back with freaky-deaky Jerry."

Charley swore. "Oh no, Rosa, I'm sor—"

I glared at him. "Shut up. I wasn't done."

"We're moving stuff, I'm playing my game, Jerry's hanging around asking questions, being annoying.

So Rosa, hows your dad, blah blah blah, your stepmothers so controlling blah blah She invited me for dinner, is that ok with you?"

Charley's face wen't white. "Rosa.. You... You didn't..."

I nodded reluctantly. "I said he could eat with us. Not that he could eat us! But anyway, he annoyed me so I went upstairs and took a nap. When I woke..." My voice faltered. I pressed on.

"The house was dark. I went downstairs..." A few tears leaked from my eyes, and I wiped them away furiously, streaking dirt across my face.

Charley wrapped his arms around me suddenly, and I frowned, backing away.

"What are you doing?"

He let go, obviously feeling awkward. "Sorry, continue. I can feel your pain, thats all."

I sniffed. "You don't know the half of it. Dad and Apollo were dead. The 'guest,' had my stepmom and was... licking her neck. The fucker had even killed one of our cats! He saw me, and I guess he had forgotten all about me, because he was surprised to see me...

'Sorry we couldn't save you any supper, Rosalie,' he said in like this, this purr. I swear he was fucking purring."

I sniffed.

"And he looked like he might have been..."

I shuddered as I remembered how Jerry had held Donna, and how her arm had extended towards me, reaching for support. "Raping her. But I can't be sure."

Charley was slowly turning green.

"Rosa.."

"Then he..he grinned at me," I ignored Charley, continuing my story, lost in it.

"'But there's plenty of dessert.' he said, again purring like a cat.

And.. and he bit her.

my _neighbour_ fucking stretched his jaw into a _right angle _and tore into her throat."

Tears were streaming down my face now, and I made no move to stop them.

"I ran. What else could I do? Its a fucking _Vampire_. He's a ... "

I took a shuddering breath before attempting to continue.

"He killed them," I whispered. "And I... I.. let him."

Charley pulled me back into another hug and this time I didn't resist. "It isn't your fault."

"But I didn't protect them!" I could hear my voice cracking. "I said he could eat dinner with us, I let the fucker _in_!"

Charley sighed. "What are you going to do now?"

I shrugged. "Well after I led him on a merry chase all over this god forsaken Suburbia he threw me against a playground slide, and I stabbed him with a steak knife, so I'm pretty sure he'll be gunning for me. I can't go home. Can I crash on your lawn? Please?"

Charley blinked at me. "You stabbed him..."

"With a steak knife, yes. He falcon punched me into a slide and then tried to eat me. I tried to assassinate him with a steak knife. Obviously I failed and just succeeded in pissing him off, because when I landed on your lawn and found out he couldn't get me, he started uttering all kinds of threats. I also...uh... attacked him with a for sale sign and told him to go chew a brick. Neither of those things seemed to have any effect on him whatsoever. I really don't want to ask again, since whether or not you give me permission, I wont move but..."

Charley sighed. "Yeah, you can stay."

I was crying now, tears streaming down my face and my shoulders shaking as it hit me.

"I just spent... Half the night.. Fending a vampire off... With a steak knife... And.. My family is _gone_!"

Charley sighed, holding his forehead. "Rosa... I'm so-"

"Fuck off, Charley," I snarled, feeling all my emotion bubbling up into a rage stronger than a fire's heat. Surprisingly, Charley didn't back off.

"I'm only on your lawn because its the only place the fucker cant get to in this fucking hell hole of a town. I wish I was back in Colemine. Nothing like this shit happens in Canada.. You Americans have fucking _problems_."

Charley looked around, before pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry..."

"Where's Ed? Didn't you say he thought Jerry was 'a' something?" I wiped my red nose and took a breath. "Now I can only assume It's 'vampire..'"

Charley hugged me tighter. "Ed's gone missing, Rosa."

I sighed. "That really really blows, I liked that kid."

And I did. Ed Lee seemed to make my loner life feel lonely.

Nothing made my loner life feel lonely!

I sniffed and sat back down. "What am I going to tell the police? 'A vampire murdered my parents, by the way. ' What do I do?"

Charley shrugged. "We have to.."

I did not want that house to start smelling. No way. Not in this heat. And my family deserved a proper burial..

"Alright, call it in."

The cops took me downtown where I gave my statement, minus the vampire parts. I wasn't guilty.

The problem was that all evidence pointed to the contrary.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Even Jerry Dandrige never stepped foot in my house, or so the cops said. There were no prints but my own, which meant that I must have gone psycho or something and murdered my family. And when the blues questioned my neighbour, he denied all contact with me, my family, he even denied knowing we had moved in.

Lying bastard. The problem was, he was a _convincing_ lying bastard.

And I, unable to afford anything more than "I'm not guilty! Why would I kill my family?'

Was quickly shunted off to prison so that the bigs could get on with the longer, more expensive cases.

The cell I got was tiny, for an adult prison.

No roommate, but plenty of neighbours.

None were vampires, thank goodness, but it may have been better if they were.

I never was, never am, and never will be, anyone's bitch. It took a week for the inmates to learn that.

Unfortunately, it also only took a week for Jerry Dandrige to find out exactly which prison they had locked me in.. And how to get me out...

**this has to be the SHORTEST chapter I have ever written.. But AT LEAST I PUT IT UP! OARW will be next for the rework treatment... And then DWS and then last IM :D BADASS CAT IS BAACK! XD**


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